Tag Archives: family

Wholesome…

Wednesday Wisdom 🙂


Inspiration this week comes from Isaiah 40:11

“He will feed his flock like a shepherd. He will carry the lambs in his arms, holding them close to his heart. He will gently lead the mother sheep with their young.”


My favorite farmer’s business partner visited us in Cozad last week. While he was here, he asked, “How do you all stay so wholesome?” I think that Matt was not entirely sure how to answer that question, but when he came home and told me about it I had to smile a bit. I viewed the question as a very nice complement. It reminded me of a similar question that I had received earlier in the week…

I am a youth leader at The Refuge which is in the neighboring town of Lexington. I spend Wednesday evenings hanging out with some pretty awesome middle schoolers 🙂 Last week, we were talking about how Jesus calls us to love one another. One of the girls looked at me and asked, “How did you learn to love?”

What an awesome question!

  • How do we learn to love?
  • And, maybe more importantly, how can we grow in our faith so that we can love more like Jesus?

Paul reminds us in 1 Corinthians 13: 4-5 that “Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged.” That type of a love is a wholesome love – and one that is given freely without conditions.

I looked at the girl, smiled and did my best to answer her question. I said, “God uses my children to teach me how to love. They inspire me to open my heart so that I can reflect the love that Jesus places in it.” Being a mom leads me on a journey of learning to love and it is one of my life’s greatest blessings. It is a beautiful and wholesome adventure. I still have a lot to learn, but I get better each day that I intentionally try to progress.


Above, the prophet Isaiah gives us a beautiful description of a loving shepherd. Although he lived hundreds of years before the coming of Christ, as I read the words from Isaiah 40:11, I think of Jesus. He is the Good Shepherd that carries lambs in his arms in order to hold them close to his heart. He is the God that gently leads us on our wholesome journey of love.

I opened my bible on Saturday morning searching for guidance. The last sentence of this verse jumped off the page at me. If Jesus leads the mother sheep gently as she follows with her young, then I need to lead gently as well as I strive to reflect His love. I’ve spent the majority of my life not being a very gentle person. I’ll never forget a few years ago when the Activities Director of our local high school called me to ask if I would serve as a volunteer coach on the Junior High and High School Cross Country team. He was looking for someone with “soft skills” to aid the team during a time of coaching transition.

When my family learned that I’d been hired for my “soft skills”, they laughed until they cried. My reputation more closely resembled a Drill Sargent than a mediator. But that phone call played a pivotal role in my personal decision to intentionally focus on love as I strived to learn how to be more gentle. It’s a journey that I still take today – endeavoring to love freely and lead gently – following the example of our Good Shepherd. I remind myself that I am after progress not perfection which gives me hope as well as goals for the future.

Perhaps the questions of last week are one of the little ways that the Lord uses others to shine His light on my path to enable me to leave the light on 🙂

 

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The Power of One…

Wednesday Wisdom 🙂


Inspiration for this week’s Wednesday Wisdom comes from Hebrews 10:23-24.

Let us hold tightly without wavering to the hope we affirm, for God can be trusted to keep his promise. Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works. And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near.


I think that this picture personifies the above scripture verse from Hebrews. Three very special people in my life who encourage each other to hold strongly to their faith — trusting God while also motivating each other to acts of love. They don’t always get it exactly right but watching them persevere inspires me.

Being a mother to them both humbles and honors me.

My heart wishes that my favorite brunette could have been in the above picture, but her presence is there — reflected in the love of her siblings — as we travel the journey together as a family.

We are closing in on six months of Joseph joining our family. It has been a time of great joy and also one of great challenge. Both hills and valleys have marked the adventure, but we are discovering the power of one. Interestingly, this is the motto of the Haymaker 2018 Football Team. Just as the team discovers how powerful one unified team is on the field, our family also discovers it off of the field.

It is very different to welcome a 17 year old as a son. Joseph was virtually a stranger to my family when I brought him home. We shared almost no common experiences, had made no “childhood memories” together, and brought very different life experiences to our perspectives.

  • He spent his formative years in a war-ridden country on another continent, fleeing by traveling on foot more than a thousand miles in search of safety.
  • My girls spent their formative years in a small rural town in peaceful Nebraska where “scary” meant watching Curious George be captured by the man with the yellow hat.
  • English is his 4th language and the culture of his home people holds very little in common with the traditions that we practice in the United States. Despite that, he speaks with fluency and is currently completing Honors English and American Government in the classroom.
  • My girls (and Matt and I) struggle to even pronounce his last name correctly — being unable to make our tongues create the gutteral sounds of the Zophei dialect of Chin. I encourage him to lead our nightly dinner prayer in his native language and regret that I am not savvy enough to truly understand his words.

We share a common christian faith, but our customs are as different as our skin color.

Why are we together as one? God called us to be a family.


Just as God is a relational God — always seeking a closeness to us in our daily lives — we are meant to exist in community. We are all made in His image, yet we are all unique. It takes patience and empathy to truly celebrate that diversity. He calls us to be a family — reflecting His love with our actions and searching for that same love in others.

I’ve learned many things since Joseph joined our family, but likely the most important lesson is that love trumps all.

Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

1Corinthians 13:7

It allows us to experience “The Power of One” as we come together to create a community that radiates God’s love. It is possible for people of different cultures – different visions – different perspectives to come together and join as a family.

Perhaps it is God’s principal calling for us. I know that it has been a transformational experience for our family as we trust in God’s promise and motivate each other to acts of love in the spirit of togetherness.

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Why Notre Dame?

Wednesday Wisdom 🙂


Inspiration this week comes from 1 Corinthians 12: 12-13

The human body has many parts, but the many parts make up one whole body. So it is with the body of Christ. Some of us are Jews, some are Gentiles, some are slaves, and some are free. But we have all been baptized into one body by one Spirit, and we all share the same Spirit.”


Last week, we took our favorite brunette to college. This week, she begins her Notre Dame journey with an intent to study Political Science and Spanish. After spending the last couple of years watching her investigate various colleges and universities all across the country, it is rewarding for me to see her settle in a place where she feels at home.

You may well ask, Why Notre Dame?

I’ve heard the question many times since she made her decision. Why does an intellectual farm kid from “small town America” — a dedicated member of the Parkview Baptist Church family — choose to study at an elite Catholic University? It’s a reasonable question. While you’d have to ask her for her specific thoughts on the topic, I find direction in the above bible verse from 1 Corinthians 12: 12-13.


She’s grown up in a pretty unique house. It’s likely her dad’s fault that she is intellectual by nature. And, many may tell you that growing up with ‘Coach Anne’ as her mama left its mark as she is known for always being inspired to work diligently to use the gifts with which God blessed her. That being said, her faith in God provides her anchor and she walks with Jesus in her heart and the Holy Spirit guiding her steps.

She travels the journey as a child of God – a member of the body of Christ. I love how she lets her faith guide her — it inspires me as well as brings peace to my heart. We visited Notre Dame for the first time almost two years ago, and I could tell as we walked around the campus and interacted with the students that she felt God’s pull to join the Fighting Irish family. She had three main requirements for college and Notre Dame had them all:

  1. To attend a school where she could continue to build her faith.
  2. To be a part of a family that valued service to others.
  3. To find intellectual challenge as she worked to broaden both her perspective and her empathy.

When it came down to it, the religious label mattered little to her as she centered her focus on the foundation of Christian faith:

A belief in God the Father

A loving relationship with Jesus the Son who not only gave us Salvation but also the gift of the

Holy Spirit to guide us in our human journey.

She reminds me that the important question is not whether we are called to be Baptist or Catholic, rather it is are we willing to accept God’s love and submit to His guidance in order to strive to live a life of faith and grace. The team is stronger when its dedicated members are both passionate and diverse. The Holy Spirit likely does not speak to any two of us the same way, but He calls all of us to be a member of God’s team.

Answering the call will enable her to develop and deepen her faith during her time on campus through a focus on service, learning, and spreading the hope that stems from Jesus’s love.

In a time of chaos — In a world of conflict  — In a culture riddled with labels

I think that perhaps many of us could find a lesson in her journey. Her decision was not a comfortable one, and she will experience both times of joy and times of trial throughout her life as a member of the Fighting Irish family. But, Jesus calls each one of us to be a member of the body of Christ. We truly say “yes” when we submit to His invitation with a heart full of love and a mind rooted in His word for guidance.

I left her Saturday morning with a few tears in my eyes, but confidence in my heart as her eyes radiated God’s love and her Bible stood proudly on her desk.

 

 

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Wearing the jersey…

Many of you probably noticed that Wednesday came and left with no Feed Yard Foodie post — one of the things that I am learning is to give myself the gift of patience. This week I needed time to process and reflect before I wrote. So, below you will find a Wednesday Wisdom on this Sunny Saturday 🙂

I would like to dedicate this post to two people who continue to help and inspire me on this journey.

  1. To Pastor John Shields for bringing me back to the bible and helping me to realize that living as a Christian is about what is in your heart, not about what religion you call yourself.
  2. To Bev Smith for the steadfast prayerful and emotional support that leaves me humbled and inspires my heart to always love.

Wednesday Wisdom 🙂

Inspiration this week comes from Galatians 5: 22

But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.


On April 19th, 2018 Team Burkholder got a new member. God brought us a son – a brother – a teammate. We packed our faith to live with grace during a time of uncertainty. I do not think that any of the six of us knew for sure what the play book looked like, but we all agreed to wear the jersey. 

It’s hard for a seventeen year old to join a team unlike anything that he has ever known.

  • To accept the jersey that is given without any strings.
  • To understand that while the jersey is free, putting it on necessitates always working unselfishly toward the good of the team.

It’s hard for the established team to build a new playbook — one that includes the new teammate and works to increase the strength of the new group.

  • To love without reservation.
  • To act with the grace of the Holy Spirit to share love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

Four months later, we’re figuring it out — Appreciating the grace that brought us together and embracing the support that comes from faith. I can honestly say that we’ve all grown – together – as we work to play on the new team that God called us to create. My children are my greatest blessings and my heart fills with gratitude as three has now become four. My favorite farmer is enjoying some additional comraderie as he is no longer the only boy on the team!


I’ve been a coach long enough that I tend to think of things in terms of athletics. This past week, I have spent a lot of time thinking about what it takes to create a successful faith-based team. I keep coming back to the phrase wear the jersey. The words popped into my head while running one morning, and then went on to dominate my thoughts for the remainder of the week.

Allow me to clarify 🙂

God’s love is a gift — it is the athletic jersey that everyone is offered when they are asked to join the team

There are a range of things that we can do with this gift:

  1. We can leave it ignored and hanging in the closet
  2. We can tentatively reach for it and consider how to best put it on
  3. We can dedicatedly wear it — with a mixture humility and pride — as we allow the Holy Spirit to live in our hearts and provide the playbook as we embrace the team mission

Sometimes, as we first learn to be a part of the team, we reach out unconfidently to take hold of the jersey.  We find that some days it is easy to wear and others it is not. Its presence never waivers but our dedication to it does. It is only when we make a confident commitment to the team that we find what the Holy Spirit promises: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

If there is one thing that I have learned over the past four months, it is how to wear the jersey — With my whole heart, always and forever. 

 

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The Greatest Of These Is Love…

Wednesday Wisdom 🙂


Inspiration this week comes from 1Corinthians 13: 4-7

“Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.”


My favorite brunette graduates from high school this week. In honor of the event, this week’s “Wednesday Wisdom” comes in a form of a letter to her.


Dear Ashley Grace,

Eighteen and a half years ago, we embarked on the journey of life together. I remember when your dad proudly held you in his arm for the first time. You were so little that you almost fit in his hand, but your exuberant cries assured me of your mighty tenacity. We grew together — you and I. Learning to pack our faith to live with grace. Sometimes I led you, and sometimes you led me; but God relentlessly inspired us to travel on this faith journey together.

Last weekend, I honored your request to have “homemade macaroni and cheese” at your graduation party. When you told me that was what you wanted most, it seemed a right and appropriate tribute to the completion of the first leg of our journey.

Do you remember the “mac and cheese night” ten years ago?

Dad was out of town for work, and I was in the midst of a barely controlled thyroid storm episode. I was heavily medicated to control my racing heart-rate, and so weak that my body shook. I sat down in the chair in the kitchen, overwhelmed by the thought of making you and your sisters’ dinner. I started to cry – my broken spirit getting the best of me. You came to kneel down beside me, with all of the love in your heart shining in your eyes. 

“Mama, it’s okay. I can help you. We can do it together. We’ll make mac and cheese. You tell me what to do and I’ll do it.”

You pulled a stool over to the stove top, and got out the sauce pan — carefully measuring and melting the butter, blending in the flour, adding milk, and stirring for what must have seemed like forever to your eight year old mind. But, you were patient — working with diligence and care — as though you sensed that we were both doing more than just making dinner. When the sauce finally thickened, you carefully grated and added the cheese. I had a moment of worry when the macaroni finished cooking and you had to dump the pasta out of the boiling water; but you bit your lip in concentration as was your habit and successfully completed the task. 

The heavy casserole dish was the next challenge, but somehow you got it filled and into the oven. By this time, Megan was your biggest cheerleader – doing her part to bravely fight the worry in order to support you. Karyn was too young to really understand anything other than we were having a new adventure — one that resulted in her favorite dinner. But, we all came together in our little kitchen to conquer a simple challenge in the midst of a very hard time.

I think that we both “grew up” that day — Realizing that together we were stronger. You learned to step up to the plate and fill the gap when someone you loved needed help. I learned to accept that when there is true love, it carries you when you need it the most.

In the years that followed, we navigated the hard times and celebrated the joy that filled our hearts. Your list of accolades is long, but I want you to know what I believe to be the most important result of our journey together. It doesn’t hang in the form of a medal around your neck. Rather, it fills your heart and guides your actions as you treasure and value each day.

It is love.

Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

You grew up hearing me say “Take God with you.” You do that when you open your heart to His patient, kind, and unending love. A love so potent that your heart runs over so that as you experience it, you can’t help to share it with others. Sometimes life is hard and it seems that the love that you offer is not returned in kind.

But it always is.

Perhaps not in the human hearts of everyone whose life path crosses with yours, but your heavenly Father returns it in excess of what you share. If you take Him with you on the journey, then your heart never empties.

I may shed some tears as you embark on the next leg of your journey, but please know that there is something that geography cannot alter. You take a part of me with you wherever you go, and I hold tight to a piece of you. God’s love ties us together — in good times and in bad — in this life and in the heavenly life that awaits us both sometime in the future.

Pack your faith.

Live with grace.

Know that my love supports you wherever God takes you on this journey.

Perhaps life is really just like a delicious batch of homemade macaroni and cheese — when it is made with love, you can’t go wrong 🙂

Love,

Mama

 

 

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Celebrating 21 years…

Today my favorite farmer and I celebrate 21 years of marriage. I’d like to deny that I am old enough to celebrate such a milestone, but when I look at my daughters it’s pretty difficult to dispute the facts 😉

Matt and I met at Dartmouth College the fall of 1993 and said “I do” in June of 1996. We spent a year on the East Coast before making the decision to move back to the family farm in Nebraska the summer of 1997. I often claim that the three girls in the above picture are my greatest blessing, but likely a better statement is that the family that we all make together is our greatest blessing.

At age 21, I had no idea what the future would bring the day that Matt slipped the ring on my finger; but I recognized that honoring the gift of our love would provide the basis of the life that we would build together. I tell my girls that the road to excellence isn’t meant to be comfortable. Rather, excellence is about reaching above and beyond your capabilities in order to accomplish far more than your dreams. That statement provides a perfect description of our marriage.

  • The road is often bumpy.
  • The bumps can make it uncomfortable at times; but there is joy to be found in the journey of togetherness.

Matt has taught me that no matter what you can accomplish alone, accomplishing things together is what makes life meaningful. Being a team creates the needed strength to turn uncomfortable into joyful success. We are devoted to each other — finding strength in the togetherness that transforms the wedding day into a life-long partnership. We work hard for each other, always striving to honor the gift of our love.

Today I count my blessings as I look back with pride on the last 21 years, while also looking forward to next 21 🙂

 

 

 

 

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Chores…

I was lucky enough to grow up down the street from my grandparents. Although they have been gone for several years now, when I think of them the word that comes to mind is devoted.  More than 70 years of marriage, the sun rose and set for them in each other.  As a little girl, I dreamed of finding a soul-mate — someone to build a life with just like my beloved Grannie and Dedaw.

Feb March 2006 017When I brought my favorite farmer to Florida for the first time, my Grannie loved him at first sight.  I still don’t know if she innately sensed that he was my one, or if she simply loved me enough to believe in my heart.  Either way, she showed me with her life that love required work — a good marriage necessitated diligently doing chores — and that the blessing of sharing your life with someone always topped the priority list.

One of the things that I love about Matt is our ability to work together in harmony.  After twenty years on the farm, I still love to do things with him. Whether we are checking fields, working on projects around the house, or building fence, we make a good team.  Matt figures stuff out, and I follow directions well 🙂

When you work well together, chores are not just a necessary part of life — they are part of what makes life fun.marchfence7.jpg

Last weekend Matt and I took down my winter horse fence.  Intermittent warm days inspire the alfalfa to green up and start to grow, so it is time to corral the horses and take them off their winter pasture. Since it snowed on Saturday, we opted to wait until Sunday to take down the electric wire fence. We traded the Saturday snow for a 35 mile an hour wind on Sunday. In hindsight, I’m not sure that we picked the correct day, but we bundled up and laughed our way through the chore.

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We brought along our favorite blondes as we’ve always maintained that families that work together find greater love together.

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We survived the wind, and finished the chore. I think perhaps the only ones pouting are the horses as they prefer their large winter grazing pasture to the corral 😉

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I spent much of the day thinking about my Grannie and Dedaw.  How my life on the farm is so different than their’s was on the Florida coast, yet how our days are actually so much the same.   When your better half provides the center of your world, love becomes much less of a chore and much more of a blessing…

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We’re In This Together…

My favorite farmer’s and my mantra has always been, We’re In This Together. We met the fall of my freshman year at Dartmouth and quickly became the couple that we still are today. We are the ones that do everything together – from home, to work on the farm, to parenting our three beautiful girls.

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The driving factor in our decision to head from the East coast back to the family farm in 1997 was our desire to build something meaningful together. Matt is my rock – the steady intelligent entrepreneur who somehow manages to thrive in a house of four very driven females.

My dedication to doing things right often makes me a work-a-hol-ic. I don’t rest until my animals have all that they need. That is just the way that God made me. I shrug off the fatigue and keep going, never stopping until the job is done. There are days that I am pretty sure that I exhaust both my husband and my crew, but they loyally stay and work alongside me. That is just the way that God made them.

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There are two young ladies that make us all smile. Their presence puts everything into perspective, and their good humor breaks up the long weeks of the fall. I look forward to the weekends and rely on them to practically help complete chores while also to lighten the mood at the feed yard.

It struck me Sunday morning, just how much I need them. It left me a bit in awe as I realized how well they listen, how quickly they learn, and how incredibly capable they are. From scooping bunks, to exercising calves, to checking daily animal health, to spouting Beef Quality Assurance and Progressive Beef protocols — all with a smile, and all with the work ethic and responsibility that permeates the culture of the farm. They GET IT.

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After we finished morning chores, we headed over to the feed yard office. Every Sunday morning, Megan writes a new inspirational quote on the white board in the office. The one she chose for this week could not have been more appropriate.

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Some might think that I expect too much of my girls, but one of my greatest responsibilities as a parent is to place them in situations where they can develop maturity, responsibility, accountability, and the resulting self-confidence that comes from true accomplishment.

My gift to them comes in the form of a shovel, coveralls, and Bogg boots all wrapped up with the knowledge of how to use these tools to benefit the animals on our farm and ultimately the people that those animals will go on to nourish.

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Between our home and our farm, our girls learn every day that life is more meaningful if we’re in this together.  I look at them and recognize Matt’s and my greatest success in our journey…

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