Holy Moments, take 2….

Inspiration this week comes from the Gospel of John 13: 34-35

“So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other. Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples.”

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I first wrote about Holy Moments back in July of 2019. At that time, I was in the middle of coaching swim team for the summer and reading a book called The Biggest Lie In The History Of Christianity by Matthew Kelly. The kids and I spent some quality time that summer learning about and practicing “Holy Moments”! God has recently put the topic back on my heart through both the Experiencing God study that I completed last fall and an online course that I am currently taking through the American Association of Christian Counselors (AACC). Since the Holy Spirit keeps placing it forefront in my thoughts, I am choosing to share it with you all this week 😊

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Matthew Kelly describes a Holy Moment as a moment where you open yourself to God – make yourself available to him – and follow the direction of the Holy Spirit to reach out and share Jesus’ love with others. Another way to describe it is those times throughout the day when you let God move through you in order to share Him and His love with others. I believe that God is always reaching out to us. The Bible tells us that He steadfastly pursues us. Sometimes this occurs as God moves through obedient believers as they allow themselves to be a conduit for love to bless those in need.

Creating a legacy of Holy Moments 😊

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I learned a new deeper concept for this type of action last week in my online course through AACC. The term is Ministry of Presence and the idea is that others (especially those who are hurting) are able to experience God as we become the channel through which God’s presence is manifested to them. In simpler terms, as I allow God’s love to move through me, His presence becomes real to the person that I am helping. In these moments, the individual no longer feels alone because I am able to share God’s presence and love with them. It reminds me quite a lot of the scripture verse above from the Gospel of John.

Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other. Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples."

We all have many, many different interactions with people as we go through the day. Do we take the presence of God with us in those moments? Do we participate in a daily ministry of presence to live out the above command from Jesus? Sometimes it is little things like complimenting someone and “building them up” or sharing a greeting and a smile as you open a door. Sometimes it is much larger as you sense a deep hurting in someone and are able to come alongside them to share a compassionate and gentle presence that comforts and reminds that God is always with us.

I am coming to realize what a gift it is to be able to be a conduit for God’s presence to others. What a blessing it is to know that God is using me to share Himself with someone else! What a beautiful responsibility that we can embrace together as we love, in the presence of God, in order to show the world that we are disciples of Christ and instruments of the Spirit. That is Koinonia – the sweet spot – that we talked about last week. God with us and in us, in order to be shared with the world — Holy Moments 😊

Coming home…

Wednesday Wisdom 😊

Inspiration this week comes from the book of Revelation 2: 2-5 (Message to the Church in Ephesus)

“I know all the things you do. I have seen your hard work and your patient endurance. I know you don’t tolerate evil people. You have examined the claims of those who say they are apostles but are not. You have discovered they are liars. You have patiently suffered for me without quitting. But I have this claim against you. You don’t love me or each other as you did at first! Look how far you have fallen! Turn back to me and do the works you did at first. If you don’t repent, I will come and remove your lampstand from its place among the churches.”

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Throughout my almost 47 years, I have been in many different churches. I was raised in the Episcopal faith, and educated in the Catholic school system. Today, I am a member of the Parkview Baptist church family. In addition to being a part of several church families, I also went for a couple of extended periods of time where I did not have a church family to call home. During my teenage years, God put a yearning on my heart to move deeper in faith with Him but I really struggled to find a church where I felt the presence of the Holy Spirit. As a result, I consistently floundered or “wandered” in my faith instead of moving forward. It took Jesus moving in the heart of my oldest daughter for me to shift back into an intentional pursuit of heartfelt faith.

As I started my 4th decade on this earth, God chose to move through Ashley Grace to answer my long-term prayer for deeper fellowship. She led our family to a new church and it changed my life. I felt the promise of deeper fellowship when I walked in that first week, and it continues to deeply affect my faith journey years later. If I were to choose my own words to describe it, I would say that it felt like coming home – walking into the place where God meant for me to be. A place where the lampstand of the Holy Spirit shone brightly for me and other believers who gathered together in love, faith and encouragement. I learned last weekend that the term for this is a Greek word, Koinonia. Koinonia describes the deep fellowship that exists when a group of believers are devoted to God, His Word, and a genuine caring for each other.

I believe that when God designs each of us as His children, we are uniquely “hardwired” to find the light of the Holy Spirit at particular places that He creates for us. We are called to love everyone and to share the Good News with all. But, God brings distinct people alongside us in our faith journey to create teams (churches) of Christians who seek strength in faith together. He then blesses these churches with the lampstand of the Holy Spirit as they obey His commandments given to us by Jesus in Matthew 22: 37-39.

“You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. A second is equally important: Love your neighbor as yourself.”

Each day, God uses the Parkview family to shape me, to teach me, to encourage me, to challenge me, to hold me accountable, and to love me in ways that I had not ever experienced before. The lampstand of the Holy Spirit shines brightly for me there, and I am able to experience God at an intimate and personaI level as I come together with the other people that He has intentionally brought there. Individually, we are all God’s children. Together, we are inspired to lead with love as we enthusiastically work for the Lord. At times during my life, I thought that I could deepen in loving fellowship with Jesus without being a part of a church family. I was wrong. What God has shown me over the last six and a half years is that my faith exists at an entirely different level when I pursue Christ in fellowship with others under the light of the Holy Spirit.

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Koinonia is a gift from the Lord that is waiting for each of us as we bravely open our hearts to embrace the team that God asks us to be a part of. Being a Christian is hard, and finding refuge and strength in the midst of the chaos of this world is a challenge. Having a church family that loves the Lord deeply and cares for one another as God commands in the above verses from Revelation and Matthew helps to provide this. If you haven’t found it yet, keep praying – keep looking – keep seeking – and open your heart to the fact that God’s chosen “church” for you may be different than the churches that you are used to. We are all God’s unique masterpieces, and he creates special places for each of us. You will know when you find the place meant for you! It’s worth reaching outside of your comfort zone as you might just find your sweet spot, and it will feel like coming home 😊

Hope is a muscle…

Wednesday Wisdom 😊

Inspiration this week comes from the Lady Haymaker basketball team’s application of two sets of scripture.

Hebrews 10: 23-24: “Let us hold tightly without wavering to the hope that we affirm, for God can be trusted to keep his promises. Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works.”

Exodus 17: 11-13: “As long as Moses held up the staff in his hand, the Israelites had the advantage. But whenever he dropped his hand, the Amalekites gained the advantage. Moses’ arms soon became so tired that he could no longer hold them up. So Aaron and Hur found a stone for him to sit on. Then they stood on each side of Moses, holding up his hands. So his hands held steady until sunset. As a result, Joshua overwhelmed the army of Amalek in battle.”

Our family has been directly involved with Lady Haymaker basketball for a decade. All three of our girls have worn the jersey, and Karyn is now in her junior year on the high school team. My favorite farmer and I spent our winter athletic seasons wrestling and swimming so hanging out at the basketball court was new for us when the girls started to play. The basketball season is long, and marked by an enormous number of games. In my opinion, it is a season that requires a strong “hope muscle” as the athletes must rally multiple times each week to face opponents on the court.

The 2021-2022 Lady Haymaker basketball team is small (in both stature and numbers), but their hope muscle is strong. The varsity game is often played with only 6-7 girls, but they come together as a team with their hearts focused on motivating each other and sharing in the hope of victory. The score board isn’t always friendly towards them, but I have never seen a group of girls play with more passionate grit. Each one of them is willing to defy the odds and put themselves on the line every time they take the court, regardless of the outcome of the previous game. Their confidence and their dedication to each other grows with each day that passes. As I sit in the stands watching, I can see God at work through them as they develop and grow.

The four juniors on the Lady Haymaker team 😊

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Last Saturday night, the Lady Haymakers claimed victory over a team that we had not beaten in 15 years. It was a great game and an awesome victory! As I watched the girls play, I was reminded of the story of Moses, Aaron and Hur in the battle of the Amalekites that is found in Exodus 17. God promised victory if Moses would stand firm holding up God’s staff. Over time, Moses became tired and his teammates (Aaron and Hur) stepped in to help him. God’s command was a hard task but, as they intentionally worked together, they were able to persevere. God blessed them for their effort and their obedience. As a Christian coach and mama, I love these verses. They remind me of God’s command for us to persevere together in faith. Our God is a loving, relational God. He fills us with strength and asks us to work together to share it. He promises to be there with us, and asks us to trust in Him.

Scripture describes hope as a strong and confidant expectation toward something that we cannot see or do not yet have. My heart tells me that hope stems from my faith in Jesus, and my intentional decision to trust in the love that God has for me. As Christians, I believe that we hold up the staff of faithful hope as we love each other, motivate each other, sacrifice for each other, hold each other accountable, and work tirelessly for the purpose that God lays on our heart. Hope is a muscle and (just like the muscles in our body) it strengthens as we intentionally train it. Together, as teammates, we can inspire each other to make it even stronger. That is what a team is all about 😊

Yeah, but…

Wednesday Wisdom 😊

I took a hiatus from blogging late this fall. I don’t have a specific explanation, except that I believe I needed to retreat to the “virtual wilderness” for a bit. As 2022 begins, I am choosing to move forward with strength and courage – remembering God’s command in Joshua 1:9.

“Be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”

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This week I hit the “3 year” mark since I broke my leg. Throughout those 1107 days, I’ve learned a lot about patient endurance, and leaning into Jesus to help me live with a cheerful and courageous heart. I’ve also seen how fear holds me back, and how hard it is to move forward in faith if I do not both claim and act on the promises that the Father gives to me. Just as it has become crystal clear to me that the difference between a good day and a bad day is my attitude, I also have come to recognize that it is through suffering that I am able to really hold onto and own that mantra. It’s easy to have a good attitude and to live with courageous strength when everything is going well; it’s life changing to be able to do it when you hurt.

We had a “guest speaker” this week at church. I put that in quotation marks because Pastor Bobby isn’t really a guest — he’s a member of our church. But, he does not often preach so I guess that makes him a guest speaker! Bobby is a member of our church family that I find myself looking for each week as we gather because he has a way of sharing a smile combined with a tidbit of wisdom that always blesses me. Usually I visit with him “on the sidelines”, but this week his message resonated “from the pulpit”. Bobby spoke of the first chapter of Joshua:

• of God’s commands to us
• of our responsibility to obediently claim and act on His promises to us
• of how knowing the Word enables us to live the Word

He left us with some advice: “In order to make 2022 our best spiritual year as both individuals, and as team Jesus at Parkview, we need to get rid of the ‘yeah, buts’.” I remember when my kids were little, and as soon as they got caught making a bad choice they would say, “but Mama I was just…” Well, a “yeah but” isn’t a lot different than a “but Mama I was just…”. It is an excuse, or a rationalization that we use when God asks us to do something that is hard, or that we are not sure we want to do. Our “yeah, buts” are likely some of the greatest deterrents in our walk with Jesus. They keep us from believing so deeply that it affects our hearts, our attitudes, and our actions. They hold us back from moving forward in faith by providing an “excuse” for us to tell God “no”.

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The photo above is a secular example of a “yeah, but” that I have struggled with post leg-break. My leg never healed correctly. I don’t know why, and I probably never will, but that’s not the point that I’m trying to make here. The point is that I have only ridden a handful of times in the last 3 years. The first year, I was in a cast and on crutches most of the year, but the 2nd and 3rd years I didn’t ride because my leg hurt and I was afraid. Megan or Karyn would ask if I wanted to ride with them, and I would say “yeah, but my leg hurts.” A few weeks ago, I decided that my “yeah, buts” were problematic so when Meg got home from college and asked me to ride, I said “yes”. We’ve ridden many times in the past 3 weeks, and I’ve enjoyed each one. I finally decided that the joy of being outside riding is greater than the “yeah, but my leg hurts“.

My spiritual walk is intrinsically tied to my secular walk because I’ve given my heart to Jesus. I try to be obedient to God but sometimes fear causes me to not grab hold and act on His promises. When I do that, I limit God and I limit His purpose for my life. The truth is that joy lives in embracing those promises. And, I can only find that joy when I get rid of the “yeah, but”. Just as I know that I can overcome the hurt to still ride my horse, I know God loves me. I know that He offers me strength and courage. I know that I never walk alone. But, I have to deeply believe it in order to move my feet with cheerful and determined strength when He commands it. I know the Word and it tells me that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. And, that’s a whole lot better than a “yeah, but” 😊

Merry Christmas!

It’s been a while since I opened the blog to write. This morning I picked it back up again to honor Matt and I’s “Christmas letter” tradition. We sent out a small bundle of traditional paper cards, but I felt the pull to write to our “online family” as well. So, here it goes!

Burkholder Annual Christmas Letter…

Christmas blessings from the farm! After 25 years, Matt still laughs that he’s crazy about me. I’m hoping that doesn’t mean that I’m driving him crazy 😉 Although our lives continue to change with each year that passes, the farm still keeps us busy. Matt works diligently to continue his “agronomy” education with the ultimate goal to always offer the best care for the land with which God has entrusted us. I never tire of the beautiful sunrises and sunsets and we feel so truly blessed that we get to call the Nebraska prairie home. Outside of farming, Matt serves on many local boards working to keep our community moving forward in the midst of a challenging world. He still water skies like he is twenty, dances with comical exuberance, and melts my heart as we hold hands together on the journey!

Ashley Grace is a senior at the University of Notre Dame where she is double majoring in Theology and Political Science, and minoring in Public Service. She adopted a cat this year and continues to love her Fighting Irish experience 🙂 She serves as a writing tutor at the university which allows her to work with athletes and international students on campus during the school year. She spent last summer teaching 3rd and 4th graders in the Milwaukee area, and after graduation she plans to move to Chicago and find a classroom of elementary students to love and mentor. I am so very proud of her heart and her courage to follow God’s urgings in her life. 

Megan is a sophomore at Davidson College where she is majoring in Physics and pole vaulting on the track team. She is also involved in both FCA and Young Life at Davidson, and has found a wonderful church family in the area. She set a new school vaulting record last year before setting out for Wyoming to work at the K Bar Z guest ranch for the summer. She loves both the Nebraska prairie and the mountains of Wyoming so we are expecting that she will head back out this direction after finishing school. She and I still share a love for horses, cattle, and working on the farm so it is always fun when she comes home to visit!

Karyn is a junior in high school and we took our third “Burkholder college visit trip” over the summer. We headed south to Oklahoma and Texas to visit a number of schools. The University of Oklahoma and Texas A&M currently top her list. She is thinking of doing ROTC at Oklahoma or the Cadet program at A&M during her college years. She had wonderful track and cross country seasons this year and made trips to the Nebraska State Championships for both sports. She enjoys One Act, math, science, our church family and friends, and hanging out with Matt and I on the farm. 

I continue to coach, substitute teach at our local middle school, and help Matt on the farm. We run cattle on grass each spring and summer which reminds me of my love for bovines! This summer I began coordinating the student ministries program at our church when our Youth Pastor left unexpectedly. I love working with kids and God continues to bless me on the adventures that He leads me to! We are very excited to have all three girls (and a grand-cat) home for the holidays! In addition, my mom and Matt’s sister will spend Christmas on the farm 🙂 We pray that God’s blessings will wrap you up this Christmas, and the love of Christ will fill your hearts! 

Merry Christmas from our family!

Love,

Matt, Anne, Ashley Grace, Megan and Karyn

I Saw God Today…

Wednesday Wisdom 🙂

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I’ve been to church
I’ve read the book
I know he’s here
But I don’t look
Near as often as I should
Yeah, I know I should
His fingerprints are everywhere
I just slowed down to stop and stare
Opened my eyes and man I swear
I saw God today

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In January of 2015, George Straight’s song, “I saw God today” came on the radio early one morning when I was reading bunks at the feedyard. I’d had a hard fall season, and was really struggling to hold my life together. It seemed like 100 different people needed 1000 different things all in the same moment, and I was crumbling – bit by bit. This was not an acute moment of stress, it was the toll of a long standing grind to run our cattle farm and lead my peers in an effort to improve cattle welfare. Managing those demands in addition to raising a family and serving in my community left me in a seemingly permanent state of exhaustion.

In those days, God was starting to work heavily on my heart and planting the seeds of change. On this morning, as I heard George Straight’s words, I started to listen.

Here is the original blog post from January 13, 2015 (on what would have been my dad’s 70th earthly birthday):

https://feedyardfoodie.wordpress.com/2015/01/13/i-saw-god-today/

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Fast forward almost seven years, and one of the things that the Experiencing God study that I am currently doing talks about is “seeing God”. God is at work all around each and every one of his children, but do we pause to see it? Then, just as importantly, do we move ourselves so that we can participate with Him in it?

As I finished up the 4th week of the series a few days ago, it got me thinking back to that morning, that moment when I intentionally decided to pause and look for God each day. A lot of things can happen in 7 years, and I have to admit that God has taken me on an interesting journey in those 2500 days! In all honestly, it’s been a journey full of uncertain “Yes’s” as my heart told me to obey the soft, quiet voice of the Spirit while my head told me that it was crazy… In typical “Anne fashion”, my heart and my feet were hesitant, but intentionally obedient.

• In 2017, I made the difficult decision to close down my feedyard.
• In 2018, our family adopted a 17 year old boy who needed a loving home.
• In 2019, I prepared to leave the “cattle animal welfare” professional circle to serve more in our church and community.
• In 2020, God brought me a long list of kids to love and mentor through coaching and substitute teaching as the corona virus changed our lives.
• In 2021, I stepped in to lead our Student Ministries program at our church when our Youth Pastor was unexpectedly called to serve somewhere else.

I did not expect any of those changes to happen. But, God did. And as I looked, I was able to see Him. When I  saw Him, I could then see His work and have the opportunity to change my life in order to become a part of it.

My life is not a fairy tale. Many of those things listed above have not gone the way that I thought they would go. But, I feel Jesus in my heart and that soft, quiet voice keeps talking to me and asking me to listen. Finding the courage to trust and follow God through the hard things takes faithful endurance, perseverance, and the willingness to believe that He is able to work in and through us. Some days I do well, some I falter. But, I know that God loves me the same on both of those types of days, and that His mercies are new with each sunrise. And, I know that what He really desires is a heart that listens.

I have a verse written on a notecard on our door that heads out to the garage. It is from 1Corinthians 15:58.

“So, my dear brothers and sisters, be strong and unmovable. Always work enthusiastically for the Lord, for you know that nothing you do for the Lord is ever useless.”

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God’s fingerprints are everywhere. When Jesus softens our hearts and God opens our eyes, the Spirit is able to allow us to see them. In those moments, when we do what George Straight suggests: slow down to stop and stare, we are able to see God each and every day 😊

Did you slow down to stop and stare today?

The Third String…

Wednesday Wisdom 🙂

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Inspiration this week comes from the Gospel of Luke 21: 1-4

The Widow’s Offering: “While Jesus was in the Temple, he watched the rich people dropping their gifts in the collection box. Then a poor widow came by and dropped in two small coins. ‘I tell you the truth,’ Jesus said, ‘this poor widow has given more than all the rest of them. For they have given a tiny part of their surplus, but she, poor as she is, has given everything she has.'”

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My favorite brunette is a student at Notre Dame University. Her daddy taught her to both love and understand the game of football from the time that she was a little girl. She’s a loyal Fighting Irish fan, and also works as a writing tutor on campus where she helps several of the football players with their studies. She traveled to the game in Chicago last weekend as the team took on Wisconsin, and managed to get an awesome seat in the first row. In the middle of the second quarter, we actually got to see her on TV 🙂

My favorite farmer and I try to be “good Notre Dame parents”. As a life-long Husker, that’s a bit of a stretch for Matt but I’m proud of how he has embraced Ashley Grace’s dreams and the college family that she chose. As we watched the game, it struck me how seamlessly Notre Dame was able to transition from starting quarterback Jack Coan to third string quarterback Drew Pyne when injury plagued the Irish. Drew didn’t miss a beat when coach called him to the field, and his teammates clearly showed up to support him. They had a plan, they believed in each other, and they went to work. They gave everything that they had, and it was enough to lead them to a clear victory of 41-13 when the clock ran out in the 4th quarter. It was pretty clear to me that the Fighting Irish players were unconcerned with the “third string” label as they instead chose to value Drew as a teammate knowing that he was willing to give everything that he had as they fought together for victory.

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Our church family is currently doing a fall study entitled “Experiencing God”. God’s placed many different things on my heart as we’ve begun this study, but I think that the most profound is a more complete realization of how much God loves each and every one of us. He doesn’t compare us or label us, instead he pours into us so that we can be in a deep and meaningful relationship with Him. I don’t think God calls any of us “third string”. We are simply the sons and daughters upon whom he bestows an unconditional love that leaves us baffled, yet blessed.

It amazes me what God can do through us when we let Him. He asks us for our love, our trust, our belief, and our obedience. He takes those things and puts them together to create light and goodness. He doesn’t count the coins, He values and empowers the heart that gives all. I am learning to not limit the God who loves me, and trusting that when He calls me to action that as long as I give my all, I will be enough. This helps me to be an active and energetic member of Team Jesus, ready to let God work through me whenever He calls my number 🙂 I am more fully understanding that when I lean into Jesus, I cease to be the “third string” and begin being the one through whom God can bring victory.

When we give our all, it is enough. God blesses it, and then blesses others with it. Today, I am thankful to the Fighting Irish football team for allowing God to work in them and through them to help bring this message deeper into my heart.

Time…

Wednesday Wisdom 😊

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Inspiration this week comes from the book of Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8

For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven.

A time to be born and a time to die.

A time to plant and a time to harvest.

A time to kill and a time to heal.

A time to tear down and a time to build up.

A time to cry and a time to laugh.

A time to grieve and a time to dance.

A time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones.

A time to embrace and a time to turn away.

A time to search and a time to quit searching.

A time to keep and a time to throw away.

A time to tear and a time to mend.

A time to be quiet and a time to speak.

A time to love and a time to hate.

A time for war and a time for peace.

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My favorite farmer turned 50 yesterday. We *celebrated* his birthday earlier this month before our older two girls went back to college, but the actual day of the BIG 50 left me a bit pensive and whole lot thankful. I happened to be reading in Ecclesiastes and the above verses just jumped off the page at me. My heart warmed as I was reminded just how beautiful the gift of time is. We all spend our time in different ways and feeling a myriad of emotions, but it struck me how truly blessed I am to not just have the gift of time, but the ability to spend it with those that I love.

Matt and I have loved each other for 28 years, and we’ve been married for more than 25. That’s more than 10,000 days and a whole lot of minutes 😊 We’ve spent that time doing many of the things listed above. Some of them were hard, but they were all meaningful. The seasons continue to pass on the farm and we still get to experience them. That is God’s gift of time. It blesses us, it grows us, it reminds us of the One who created us and delights in us each day.

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We are all “a work in progress” that God faithfully improves upon over time 😊 Life is a journey and growth happens little by little. Matt is good for me. He is a goofy clown with a huge heart, and brings so much joy into my life. God knew this and that is why He brought us together. Matt reminds me to accept peace, to choose joy, and to rest in the moment knowing that God made everything beautiful for its own time. Today, I am so very thankful for my favorite farmer, the God that unconditionally loves us both, and the time that we are blessed to be able to spend together ❤️