On May 25th I published The Good Life Halfsy as a promise to myself of great things to come. I wrote it just a few days after signing up to run my first half marathon – an important component to my journey to regain my spiritual health.
Sunday morning, with 550 miles of running training — a smile on my face and peace in my heart — I packed my FAITH to race with GRACE.
My favorite farmer filmed the finish of the race so that I could share it with you 🙂
God had my back and I learned in a very tangible way that my faith could be stronger than my fear.
My high school Cross Country coach would likely tell you that my running form still needs some work 😉 but, I overcame that with grit and determination to finish the race in a time of 1:42.49. I negative split the race (ran the second half faster than the first) with an average pace of about 7:50 per mile.
It’s amazing what happens when you open your heart and mind and let God’s presence fill your soul. I trained and then completed the race with no stop watch — a decision that I made before beginning the journey in order to help myself to learn to let go of control and just BE.
Somewhere along the journey, I learned to lean on God. To find joy and peace in the times that we spend together each day, as well as strength to overcome the physical and mental barriers that had plagued me since my battle with Graves Disease more than ten years ago.
As I crossed the finish line, I was proud of me.
Proud of the person that I found deep inside of myself during the training journey.
Life is about much more than any one race or moment in time. The lessons learned along the way carry you forward on the road to excellence. I found that I needed to build the muscle of hope in my heart just as much as I needed to build the muscles in my legs.
When you build the muscle of hope, then faith supports you on the journey!
Sunday morning, just as the sun popped over the horizon, I logged in my 500th mile running since deciding to compete in the Good Life Halfsy October 29th in Lincoln, NE.
500 miles is a long way… Farther than the width of the state of Nebraska – Similar to traveling from NYC to Cleveland…
I decided to keep a journal of my training as a bit of a whim. I figured that looking back on my swimming and running cross training for the race would be meaningful. More than four months into the journey, I am very glad that I did. Not because I plan to do it exactly the same way the next time, but because it gives me insight into the journey of peace that I embarked upon last June.
For the first time in my life, I trained not for time but as a means to regain my mental and spiritual health.
I’ve logged in more than 500 miles never wearing a watch. I never missed it because my pace was superfluous — I set out not to regain the athletic status of my youth, rather, to regain balance in my life. In less than two weeks, I will cross the starting line packing my faith to compete with grace. I know that what I accomplish on that day pales in comparison to what I have found running the gravel roads — watching the sun rise — and finding a deep sense of rightness in my life.
Somewhere along the way, I learned that my faith could be stronger than my fear. I found joy, peace, and inspiration as I opened my heart and refocused on what is most important in my life. I will cross the finish line with the knowledge that life is a journey.
That I am stronger than I ever imagined and that hope is the muscle that fuels faith.
I remember when I moved to the farm in June of 1997, I laughed to Matt that I traded flip flops for cowboy boots. Over the last four months, I have learned that my perspective on life is healthier if I also add in a pair of running shoes in order to fuel myself with some quiet time in the presence of God.
The blessings are numerous — we only have to look to see them.
I had an unwritten protocol at the feed yard for myself and the rest of my crew in the event that someone lost their temper:
Make sure that all animals are safe in an appropriate pen.
Walk away until you are once again calm.
The flip side of losing your temper is keeping your cool. Spending 20 years caring for cattle taught me the importance of rationally assessing a situation while simultaneously controlling my temper. For years, my girls claimed that I had twice as much patience with my cattle as I did with them. In all fairness, this was likely true as my steadfast mantra as feed yard boss lady was:
The cattle come first. They do not understand your brain but can sense and cue off of your emotions. Calm cattle caregivers lead to calm and well comfortable cattle.
ALWAYS KEEP YOUR COOL!
Over the years, I periodically lost my temper with myself, my crew, and the occasional truck driver that serviced us at the feed yard; but I tried to recover quickly to ensure that my cattle did not feel my frustration. I think this was one of the keys to my success as a cowgirl. Sometimes, you just have to take a moment to collect yourself before continuing the journey. That is what I call being a responsible caregiver.
A month ago, my favorite brunette bet me that I could not go a week without losing my temper. She spent a good part of her childhood comparing me to Old Faithful, laughingly explaining to anyone who would listen that her mom displayed frequent and predictable displays of emotion 😉 It is 100% true that for years I placed a higher priority on keeping my cool with my animals than I did with the people in my life. The moment that she wagered the bet, I made the decision to strengthen this personal weakness.
I am proud to say that Old Faithful remains calm and has not erupted in more than 30 days. I’ve learned a few important things along the way.
Conveying your passion in a respectful way provides an effective way to inspire others to do the same.
The key (for me) to warding off anger is to take on a perspective of thankfulness. I’ve found that it is difficult to become angry when I focus thankfully on my blessings.
Patience and encouragement combined with a steadfast persistence helps to bring about positive change – both in yourself and in others.
At the bottom of the Feed Yard Foodie home page is a quote by quarterback Drew Brees from his book Coming Back Stronger. The book is a favorite of mine and it makes an important observation:
“Believing—there are several layers to it. There’s the surface-level type of believing, where you acknowledge that something is true. Then there is a deeper kind of belief–the type that gets inside of you and actually changes you. It’s the kind of belief that changes your behavior, your attitude, and your outlook on life, and the people around you can’t help but notice.”
I need to give credit to my favorite brunette for inspiring me to enable my beliefs to permeate to a deeper level in order to create an important behavioral change. I may occasionally revert back to bad habits; but I am confident that Old Faithful has been put to rest. I have become a believer in keeping my cool 🙂
It’s been six months since we shipped the last of our cattle to the packing plant and I shut down the feed yard. I remember someone saying to me last winter, “Anne, it’s going to be so depressing to look at an empty feed yard and think about what it used to be.”
I am a person that always looks forward — reaching toward what will be rather than looking back on what used to be. As a result of that, as soon as the cattle left the feed yard we began to build a plan for what Will Feed would be in the future. That meant tearing out the home pens to convert the facility into a combination crop farm and cattle receiving area to serve as our grass pasture headquarters.
Above: An aerial view of the feed yard. Below: the same land a few days before Matt planted the cover crop…
I am pleased to report that we have been very successful in this effort. My foreman and my cowboy worked all winter to make this conversion possible.
Feed bunks and water tanks were sold to neighbors to be used for other local cattle operations.
All of the left over concrete was recycled to be used to help maintain local irrigation canals.
Fences were reconstructed to fit the needs of our grass cattle operation.
Manure was hauled out by my favorite farmer to be used as fertilizer to maintain soil health on his crop fields.
On the 1st of July, my favorite farmer planted a cover crop where the home pens of the feed yard used to be. My original plan was to have this completed by the first of June, but we were slowed down by the weather and the final dirt work on the project. Matt has a solid plan for building soil health over the next several years and we are excited about the farm transition.
Photo credits to Katie Arndt Photography
I have learned many lessons in the past two decades living on a farm; but I think perhaps the most important one is the critical importance of having resilience. Change can be difficult, but packing your FAITH (fortitude, attitude, integrity, trust, and hope) allows for a successful journey.
I saw a t-shirt last weekend that read “Don’t limit your challenges, challenge your limits.” I think that this provides good food for thought as we make our way into a new week 🙂
I will never forget my first experience with a Progressive Beef audit. While our feed yard had participated in the Beef Quality Assurance Feed Yard Assessment for several years, my veterinarian filled the role of auditor under that voluntary educational program. The Progressive Beef Quality Management System took auditing to an entirely new level for my crew and I. While it ultimately provided a tremendous tool for improvement, opening my farm to an “outside auditor” made me uncomfortable.
My feed yard was my pride and joy, and my crew like family. I am a perfectionist and hold myself to a very high level of accountability. A comprehensive audit often finds imperfection as it is designed to measure performance to a high level of detail. It is my nature to take things personally and I viewed every infraction (no matter how small) as a slight on my own leadership.
The rational part of my brain recognized that growth and continuous improvement involved measuring performance at a detailed level. The metrics of the audit forced me to face imperfection. The intellectual Anne knew that the road to excellence was never comfortable, and that perfect practice made perfect performance. The emotional Anne dreaded audit day.
Over the years that Will Feed participated in the Progressive Beef QMS, I learned that the positives of the audit outweighed the negatives. The effectiveness of the tool as a means for continuous improvement significantly outweighed my personal stress. I’d like to report that I learned to relax, but I preach to my kids that integrity trumps all so I am simply going to say that I learned to accept the reality of audit day 😉
Somewhere along the way, I recognized that audit meant:
Human nature insists that we perform better when we are held accountable for our actions.
True understanding comes when you realize that the little things count. Dotting your i’s and crossing your t’s really does raise the level of care that you offer to your animals. Animals matter so details had better matter.
Daily dedication to a goal of excellence builds a positive culture. When you are dedicated to caring, awesome things happen.
Integrity is the voice that sits on your shoulder when you make decisions. You are more likely to listen to it when you live amidst a culture of excellence. Caregivers with integrity bring honor to the farm and lead to responsibly raised food.
Trust in our food supply plays a critical role in the stability of our country. Verification of care inspires trust. If it matters to you, it had better matter to me. We’re in this together.
One of the responsibilities for my new job is becoming a Progressive Beef auditor. I am in the process of changing my position relative to who holds the clipboard. I am hopeful that my past experience as feed yard boss lady will enable me to empower the feed yard crews that I audit to believe in the heart and spirit of an audit.
Getting better matters. It involves accountability, understanding, dedication, integrity and trust; and results in a level of animal care that brings pride to the vocation of raising food.
Yesterday morning we shipped the final pens of cattle from the feed yard to Tyson. A calm wind with temperatures in the mid-20’s provided an easy ship out environment. Mother Nature also rewarded us with a beautiful sunrise toward the end of the process.
As I watched the last cattle truck pull away from the load-out chute, my emotions threatened to get the best of me. I took a moment to remember back to the first of the lasts as I experienced the last of the lasts. This particular shipment marked the end of our feed yard era, and the finality of the moment left me drained.
I wasn’t quite sure how to feel with the knowledge that, for the first time in twenty years, I had no cattle directly depending on me for care. An internal struggle waged as the uplifting element of freedom fought with the deep rooted desire to be needed.
Recognizing the necessity and wisdom in change is sometimes easier than living it out. Watching the cattle truck pull away forced me to face the reality in a way that I had not yet done. I took a brief moment to feel sorry for myself before I packed my FAITH and went back to work.
In that transition moment from self-pity to resolve, I made the decision to be happy.
While that decision does not preclude me from experiencing difficult moments tinged with sadness, it focuses my attitude on the positive and grants me the strength to make the most of the future. LIFE is a verb, and I recognize that my ability to achieve happiness is directly related to how I chose to live it.
Staying true to my core values
Trusting both myself and God on the journey
Recognizing that there is so very much more left to do on the journey…
All of these things give my life purpose,and I am looking forward to cowgirling up to make the most of it.
I became familiar with the words “macro” and “micro” when I took my first college economics class. I signed up for two economics courses during my tenure at Dartmouth, not because I was really very interested in the subject, but because understanding basic economics fell under the “Anne’s necessary life skills” category.
I never developed a love for economics, but the psychologist in me became fascinated with all of the ways that I could interpret the world under the concept of macro vs micro. It fascinated me to see how the big picture (macro) relied on the small details (micros) in order to be effective.
Last week I talked about my 5 Nuggets of Wisdom from a feed yard Boss Lady. The first nugget, Be prepared to develop yourself and learn how to problem solve, holds the key to living a focused life. I am a believer in setting goals and creating a personal system of accountability. This ensures both loyalty to personal core values and a purposeful life journey. While I always pack my faith, I remember that LIFE is a verb. As such, I set myself up for success by constantly developing plans to help me attain my goals.
A goal without a plan is simply a wish…
Let me offer an example.
One of my career goals is to improve animal welfare for cattle. I made this commitment the day that I began my journey as a cowgirl, and twenty years later it still remains my passion. This goal provides the macro. I recognized in June of 1997 that I needed to learn many things in order to improve welfare in a meaningful way. So, I developed a plan that allowed me to create the micros to help accomplish the goal.
Learn bovine psychology and build an understanding of a prey animal’s brain.
Develop the ability to *think like a bovine* thereby gaining insight into what is important to a calf.
Understand the beef industry life cycle and the resources that drive that system.
After I accomplished these three necessary prerequisites, I could then begin to figure out ways to improve the system of raising cattle in order to make meaningful improvement in welfare. I recognized that long-lasting and meaningful change came from within, so I began the process on my farm.
I became my own cattle buyer so that I could develop relationships with my ranchers and follow the animals all of the way through the production system. Once those relationships became developed, we worked on improved nutrition, vaccination, and cattle handling to create a lower stress environment over the lifetime of the animals. This enabled them to thrive and reach their God-given potential.
I forged a bridge with a packing plant (I actually did with two different packing plants during my twenty-year tenure) so that my ranchers and I could trace the quality of our beef and make management decisions on our farms to continuously improve it.
Today, the animal care at my feed yard looks a lot different than it did that inaugural day in the summer of 1997. Incremental but significant change occurred over time as the focus on appropriate micros ensured an improvement for a macro concept. The dedication to the goal of improved welfare quite literally drove my career as a feed yard boss lady.
Because of it:
I was willing to work harder than my peers in order to prove myself.
I weathered awkward moments with grace and class.
I recognized that not everyone viewed the world as I did, and worked to build bridges in order to further the cause.
As I simultaneously raised my family, I shared my work with my three girls always reminding them to lead with your heart, but always take your brain along for the journey 🙂
I am often asked about my journey as a woman in the beef industry. For all of the young women who have asked me for advice on the topic –This one’s for you…
5 Nuggets of Advice from the Feed Yard Boss Lady:
1. Be prepared to develop yourself and learn to problem solve. The complexities and traditions of the beef industry provide a delicate puzzle. Change is a given. It is your job to ensure that it is positive in nature.
Establish personal core values to live by
Gain an accurate understanding of the beef production chain
Create both long and short term goals to guide you on your journey
Develop plans to effectively work toward your goals
Recognize that you can learn something from EVERYONE
2. Be prepared to prove yourself. True leaders garner respect through work ethic and positive passion. Lead by example — Words only become meaningful after respect is earned. There are days when your body will ache and your brain will beg for refuge. Ignore the discomfort and keep working. You must earn your place on the team. Everyone may not always like you, but over time your actions will convince them that they NEED you. Once they need you, acceptance and respect will follow.
Learn to sweat with a smile 😊
3. Be prepared to deal with awkward moments — Do it with grace and class.
There may be a time when a bull hauler (truck driver) exclaims “Hey, I’ve read about you. You’re the crazy lady who exercises her cattle! What’s it like to work for PETA?” Smile, politely correct the PETA assumption, and go load the cattle. The goal is to create the best experience for the animals — keep your temper in check. Trust me, it’s worth it.
There may be a time when you are in an auditorium with hundreds of cattlemen present. You are slated to present an award to a veterinarian who exemplifies many of the animal welfare principles that you have worked so hard to advance. As the President of the cattlemen’s organization introduces you, he inadvertently belittles you by calling you a princess and misrepresents the project that you have spent a decade as a volunteer working on. Smile, shake his hand, turn to the audience and tell the veterinarian’s awesome story of animal care.
Recognize that IT’S BIGGER THAN YOU. It is about fostering positive change in your industry.
4. Be prepared that not everyone thinks like you. Your job is to build bridges, not pass judgment. Building bridges requires both action and compromise on your part. We are stronger if we embrace diversity and use it to create a more effective team. Figure out your own Anne Gates and go to work!
As a woman in the beef industry, you will have experiences that your male counterparts cannot fully understand. That’s okay.
It’s unlikely that a fellow male crew member knows what it feels like to work cattle during pregnancy when the little one crams her foot in between your ribs while also making your bladder a temporary punching bag. However, your crew is your team and they will likely do everything that they can to help you get the job done. They do not have to be you to empathize and care about you. Be grateful for them.
It’s unlikely that a fellow board member for your state cattlemen’s association will receive an “emergency” call informing him that his children had not been picked up from school that afternoon. While he won’t likely get the call, he can surely empathize with your husband who evidently forgot he was in charge of the after school pick up that day!
Building bridges creates a team spirit which incites positive movement.
5. Be prepared to make difficult decisions as you balance your family and your career. There are not enough hours in the day to do everything — You will have to prioritize. After the cattle chores, the daily business decisions, and the volunteer work are completed, there is dinner to be made and the never ending laundry to be done. Most importantly, there is a beautiful family that loves and needs you.
Be a loving wife and an engaged mama — celebrate your greatest blessing by enjoying life with your family.
The last twenty years have been an incredible adventure for me as well as a great preparation for the new journey that lies ahead. I have no regrets and many proud moments. It is truly a gift to get to use both your body and your brain to make a difference each and every day.
Cattle are amazing creatures and there is great honor in the role of cowgirl.
A native of urban Palm Beach County, Florida; I came to the Nebraska farm via Dartmouth College where I met and fell in love with my favorite farmer. Twenty five years later, we are still raising crops and cattle in the Platte River valley. Our three girls are our most precious blessing, and we are so thankful to get to share “God’s country” with them. Thank you for stopping by to get to know us and to share faith with us!
"Believing---there are several layers to it. There's the surface-level type of believing, where you acknowledge that something is true. Then there is a deeper kind of belief--the type that gets inside of you and actually changes you. It's the kind of belief that changes your behavior, your attitude, and your outlook on life, and the people around you can't help but notice."