Moving Forward To Honor Those That Are Lost…

The finality of death becomes a harsh reality when faced with the loss of a loved one. A myriad of feelings bubble to the surface as the roller coaster ride of bereavement dominates one’s emotional state.  Each person is unique and grieves in his/her own way, but all of us share the same struggle to create a new normal when we lose someone special in our lives.

annedadhorsemountain

As I look back over the last eight months, I initially see sadness – anger – despair – helplessness – but as I dig deeper, I notice other things as well. My own grieving journey demonstrates to me that there is so very much more to be found in the development of this new normal.

  • A sense of purpose develops amidst the loss…
  • A wealth of energy blooms amidst the fury…
  • A realization that life is truly a gift births a sense of thankfulness amidst the despair…
  • A burning need to share and contribute slowly overrides the sea of helplessness that comes from being forced to let go…
  • An epiphany dawns with the knowledge that with every day that you embrace moving forward, that you give honor and tribute to the one that is lost — forever carrying a piece of them with you.

There exists a great need for forgiveness amongst this journey: Forgiveness for the imperfections in the life that was lost as well as forgiveness of self to help alleviate the guilt felt by those left behind. yellowflower.jpp

Making the conscience choice to continue to live – to continue to share – to continue to love — begins this creation of the new normal.

This week we all take part in a preparation of Easter. Regardless of your religious affiliation, you will experience the new life that springs forth with the warming of temperatures and change of seasons. As the grass greens, the trees bud, and the flowers bravely make their way above ground, remember that life is a gift and, most importantly, that moving forward to share in that gift honors those that you have lost as well as helping to heal those who remain.

The joy of a new beginning exists around every corner — resilience, patience, and love ensure that we can all endure with grace.

How do you honor those that are lost?

7 Comments

Filed under Family, General

7 responses to “Moving Forward To Honor Those That Are Lost…

  1. JStokka

    Anne,
    Bless you and thank you for your comments, God has given you talents with language and you purposefully give them voice.

    • Thank you Doc. Your words mean a lot to me. I have to admit that posts like this one act as both a catharsis and road map for me as I make my way through life. Writing is a key component to my mental fitness and my ability to process emotions and “move on”.

      When I sat down to write this one, I knew that I needed to write on this topic but was not sure what it would look like when I got all finished. I am very pleased with the end result — a clear message to myself and hopefully also an inspiration to others.

      I can’t bring my dad back, and I can’t change the past — but, I can move forward with honor sharing my gifts with others. It is a beautiful and tangible result, and it heals me as I go.

      All the best to you,
      Anne

  2. I don’t forget to remember. It hurts to acknowledge, but there’s no gain or honor in avoidance. Your post is lovely, Anne. Thanks for sharing.

    • Thank you, Emily Grace. I agree that being mindful of “remembering” is important. When we remember, then we allow our memories and the “life lessons” that we were taught to influence our behavior “moving forward”.

      I think that part of establishing the “new normal” is finding balance between remembering and making the conscience choice to continue to live — continuing to share with others and make the most of each and every day. That is so difficult sometimes, but very necessary (at least for me).

      Thank you for sharing.
      Best,
      Anne

      • I couldn’t agree more, Anne! Thank you for sharing so plainly and fluently how you have grieved and chosen through these months.

        As the average age of US producers continues to rise, we know we’re looking at even more families in our industry needing readily available support during their grief. I think this series of your posts is very important and I appreciate the vulnerability and honesty you’ve put into them.

        Hope you have a lovely spring day.
        Best,
        eg

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